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Minor movies on tap this weekend
16 October 2005
We rented two flicks this weekend: Kingdom of Heaven, Ridley Scott's latest sweeping epic, and The Wedding date, a lightweight romantic comedy with a British touch.
Kingdom of Heaven is one of those overblown looks-like-cast-of-thousands films that relies on computer graphics for stunning effects and populating fields of screaming digital warriors, but all too often sacrifices character development for visual muscle. It's the tale of a humble blacksmith who becomes the last Christian/Crusader defender of Jerusalem before Saladin and his Islamic army finally took it back. It's a mix of wildly inaccurate fantasy with a sprinkling of historical truth.
There was a real King of Jerusalem - several in fact - but the one shown in the movie is Baldwin IV. He died of leprosy in 1185 CE at 24, and was succeeded by his sister's son - Baldwin V, a sickly five-year old from his mother's first marriage, who died the next year. The throne was then handed to his mother, Sybilla, and she gave the crown to husband, Guy of Lusignan, who crowned himself king.
After years of broken treaties, Saladin attacked the Christians. King Guy took his army to meet Saladin and was crushed at the Horns of Hattin. Saladin then turned to Jerusalem. Sybilla was in charge of the defence, but the ranking officer who took command was Balian of Ibelin - whom a compassionate Saladin had released after Guy's defeat to visit his sick wife in Jerusalem.
Saladin conquered the city in 1187 CE. Sybilla left, and joined up with Guy, released in 1188, outside the Christian stronghold of Tyre. They joined the Third Crusade of Richard the Lionheart. Sybilla and her daughters died on the journey. Guy of Lusignan continued to push for recognition as King of Jerusalem, but was out of favour and ended up as Lord of Cyprus - a gift from the Templars.
For those of you familiar with the movie, you can begin to see some of the history unravelling into fiction to suit Hollywood's needs. Ironically, we also watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail (again) over the weekend, and it was about as historically accurate as Kingdom of Heaven, but at least it had some laughs. The problem I have is that, while they dismiss MPATHG, people will likely think Kingdom of Heaven is a fair depiction of both the past and the location, when it's neither.
It was entertaining in the sense that big, fat epics are, and the effects/graphics were stunning. But it was more like Lord of the Rings set in the Middle East than a historical adventure. And the modelling of Jerusalem was curious - good when looking into the city, but outside there were no roads leading from any of the gates of this ancient city - just empty, dusty plains. And there were none of the farms, olive orchards, fields of shepherds and so on that dot the hills around the city. in fact the city looked like it was set lower on a plain, surrounded by high hills, with no roads leading in, which is not correct.
I'd give Kingdom of Heaven two-and-a-half stars out of five, mostly for its effects. The acting was minimal, the character development slim and the main character - Balian (Orlando Bloom) - played the strong-silent role just a little too thickly for us to care about him. I might add half-a-star because it portrays the Templars as the bloodthirsty villains they really were, without all this revisionist Da Vinci Code nonsense about them.
The Wedding Date, on the other hand, was like candy-coated popcorn: a little too sweet, a trifle nauseating at times, but you still finish the bag. It stars Debra Messing as the same neurotic character she plays in TV's Will and Grace, and she hardly stepped out of character - except perhaps the sex scene which was romantic (translation: carefully framed without revealing any pink bits) but about as erotic as her TV series, although unexpected for that character.
The male lead - playing a professional escort - was Dermot Mulroney (who?) whose dialogue was mostly Yoda-like nuggets of male wisdom scattered at critical moments. For the women in the audience, he was obviously cast for the rugged look and the well-defined six-pack, not his skills in playing a romantic lead.
The film had every opportunity to nosedive into the usual molasses of saccharine soap opera-style films, but was saved by a few quirky side characters (de rigeur in romantic comedies), and a reasonably good (sometimes even laugh-aloud funny) script. Although it's entirely predictable, it was actually watchable all the way through because of its underlying British-ness. It might be best described as a slightly wacky role-reversal on the Pretty Woman theme.
It co-stars, among others, Jack Davenport, who plays a similar role in the BBC sex-comedy series, Coupling. Coupling is a wild, funny, often off-colour series, but Davenport can only bring a slightly hapless version of his role into this film, without the wit.
It's not worth a second watch, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected, and it does have some truly amusing moments, so I give three stars for exceeding expectations.
Kingdom of Heaven is one of those overblown looks-like-cast-of-thousands films that relies on computer graphics for stunning effects and populating fields of screaming digital warriors, but all too often sacrifices character development for visual muscle. It's the tale of a humble blacksmith who becomes the last Christian/Crusader defender of Jerusalem before Saladin and his Islamic army finally took it back. It's a mix of wildly inaccurate fantasy with a sprinkling of historical truth.
There was a real King of Jerusalem - several in fact - but the one shown in the movie is Baldwin IV. He died of leprosy in 1185 CE at 24, and was succeeded by his sister's son - Baldwin V, a sickly five-year old from his mother's first marriage, who died the next year. The throne was then handed to his mother, Sybilla, and she gave the crown to husband, Guy of Lusignan, who crowned himself king.
After years of broken treaties, Saladin attacked the Christians. King Guy took his army to meet Saladin and was crushed at the Horns of Hattin. Saladin then turned to Jerusalem. Sybilla was in charge of the defence, but the ranking officer who took command was Balian of Ibelin - whom a compassionate Saladin had released after Guy's defeat to visit his sick wife in Jerusalem.
Saladin conquered the city in 1187 CE. Sybilla left, and joined up with Guy, released in 1188, outside the Christian stronghold of Tyre. They joined the Third Crusade of Richard the Lionheart. Sybilla and her daughters died on the journey. Guy of Lusignan continued to push for recognition as King of Jerusalem, but was out of favour and ended up as Lord of Cyprus - a gift from the Templars.
For those of you familiar with the movie, you can begin to see some of the history unravelling into fiction to suit Hollywood's needs. Ironically, we also watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail (again) over the weekend, and it was about as historically accurate as Kingdom of Heaven, but at least it had some laughs. The problem I have is that, while they dismiss MPATHG, people will likely think Kingdom of Heaven is a fair depiction of both the past and the location, when it's neither.
It was entertaining in the sense that big, fat epics are, and the effects/graphics were stunning. But it was more like Lord of the Rings set in the Middle East than a historical adventure. And the modelling of Jerusalem was curious - good when looking into the city, but outside there were no roads leading from any of the gates of this ancient city - just empty, dusty plains. And there were none of the farms, olive orchards, fields of shepherds and so on that dot the hills around the city. in fact the city looked like it was set lower on a plain, surrounded by high hills, with no roads leading in, which is not correct.
I'd give Kingdom of Heaven two-and-a-half stars out of five, mostly for its effects. The acting was minimal, the character development slim and the main character - Balian (Orlando Bloom) - played the strong-silent role just a little too thickly for us to care about him. I might add half-a-star because it portrays the Templars as the bloodthirsty villains they really were, without all this revisionist Da Vinci Code nonsense about them.
The Wedding Date, on the other hand, was like candy-coated popcorn: a little too sweet, a trifle nauseating at times, but you still finish the bag. It stars Debra Messing as the same neurotic character she plays in TV's Will and Grace, and she hardly stepped out of character - except perhaps the sex scene which was romantic (translation: carefully framed without revealing any pink bits) but about as erotic as her TV series, although unexpected for that character.
The male lead - playing a professional escort - was Dermot Mulroney (who?) whose dialogue was mostly Yoda-like nuggets of male wisdom scattered at critical moments. For the women in the audience, he was obviously cast for the rugged look and the well-defined six-pack, not his skills in playing a romantic lead.
The film had every opportunity to nosedive into the usual molasses of saccharine soap opera-style films, but was saved by a few quirky side characters (de rigeur in romantic comedies), and a reasonably good (sometimes even laugh-aloud funny) script. Although it's entirely predictable, it was actually watchable all the way through because of its underlying British-ness. It might be best described as a slightly wacky role-reversal on the Pretty Woman theme.
It co-stars, among others, Jack Davenport, who plays a similar role in the BBC sex-comedy series, Coupling. Coupling is a wild, funny, often off-colour series, but Davenport can only bring a slightly hapless version of his role into this film, without the wit.
It's not worth a second watch, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected, and it does have some truly amusing moments, so I give three stars for exceeding expectations.
