1
The strangest thing to say...
26 November 2010
There's a front-page article in this weekend's Collingwood Connection about the mayor, titled, "Carrier proud of accomplishments." Pretty much the expected thin, self-congratulatory analysis of his past four years. But what struck me is a bit at the end.*
John Edwards asks Carrier about his "tumultuous" relationship with me. I wouldn't use that word, which carries a connotation of loud excitement or even violence. I would say it was more acerbic or adversarial.
In response, the mayor says, I wanted a "relationship" he couldn't offer - "almost a personal friendship."
Huh? I did a double-take over that comment.
Carrier and I have been confronting each other almost since I took office, seven years ago. I remember the night of the previous election. I was at the Huron House awaiting the results among a crowd of people. When results were announced, we learned both Carrier won his race for mayor and I had been re-elected. Two people came up to me at the bar right afterwards and asked me "Can you work with him?" Not, "Can you be friends with him?" but could I work with a guy I'd been squabbling with for the best part of the last three years. None of them would have thought I wanted to be his buddy. Why would he?
Personal friendship? Hardly. I rather like to think of myself as fairly selective about my small but close circle of friends.
The only relationship I expected of Carrier this term was to act as a good leader. Which he didn't, so in that sense he really couldn't provide the "relationship" I thought a mayor should have with his colleagues, and constituents.
True, I had expected him to provide a working milieu in which all members of council could partake and contribute. I had expected him to foster an environment of cooperation and collective effort. That didn't happen, either. But that's not a friendship. It's team building, something else that was overlooked this term.
Where would he get that bizarre notion that I wanted to be friends with him?
"This is a professional business relationship," the mayor told Edwards. Yeah, right: what's so professional and businesslike about spying on the email traffic of other members of council in your fist few weeks? That set the tone for the next four years.
Politics are networking activities, not some cut-and-dry buyer-seller business relationship. Politics are about interaction and engagement, about connections and communication, and to do that, you need to have time to interact and communicate.
We obviously have a very different notions about what politics are and how they work.
"It's not a private club. It's not fraternity," Carrier said.
Well, it WAS a private club, at least at the start, when the mayor and his supporters basically controlled everything at the table. Outsiders weren't kept informed, weren't invited to participate, weren't asked to represent the town at events or to share the limelight. And I was one of the outsiders. By the end of his term, there were several at odds with the mayor - including some his earlier ardent supporters.**
Fraternity? Well, aside from the use of the word to describe a college social club, fraternity also means, "a body of people associated for a common purpose or interest." In my humble opinion, that aspect of fraternity befits council. Perhaps the mayor was thinking of another definition, "the quality or condition of being brothers; brotherliness." Certainly for some of us, there wasn't a lot of brotherliness being spread around by the mayor.
Former Mayor Geddes understood and appreciated the value of getting council and staff together for group and social occasions. Whether it was having a drink after a council meeting, joining him on a bicycle ride along the trails, or flipping pancakes together during the Canada Day celebrations, we developed a better working relationship by doing things that weren't just business. These things humanized our relationhips with one another. Terry actively engaged in team building. Under Carrier, we simply got together once a week to fight.
Of course, the only member of the previous council who never joined us after our meetings to relax and get to know one another, was the current mayor. So he never really got to appreciate how important those informal and fun events were in team building, nor did he see how they created bonds among us that extended to the council table.***
In the week after the 2006 election, I met Carrier in his office and at the end of our discussion, I asked him if he intended to continue Terry's practice of getting council and department heads together after a meeting to socialize. He shook his head and told me (as closely as I can remember), "I see nothing wrong with the way I've behaved over the past nine years. I see no reason to change now."
Seven of the nine members of today's council were at the table last term. That term, we generally got along, and we didn't fight a lot because we spent time in social and casual events getting to know and respect one another. When we attended out-of-town conventions like AMO, we met to share information, we went to meetings together and often dined together afterwards to discuss what we had learned from workshops or seminars. We weren't a "private club" - we were a team and we accomplished a lot last term.
This term, we didn't do any of that. Instead, we fought for four years. We went to conventions and generally ignored each other. We haven't been anything close to a team in the past four years. What changed? The person at the head of the table.
Leadership isn't about friendship, but it IS about creating an environment of respect, acceptance, and cooperation. In his book, "The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership", author John Maxwell identifies Law 10 as "The Law of Connection: Leaders Touch a Heart Before They Ask For a Hand." He writes, "When it comes to working with people, the heart comes before the head... For leaders to be effective, they need to connect with people... You can't move people to action unless you first move them with emotion."
The only emotions we got this term from the head of council were disapproval, distrust and dismissal. So perhaps, since I expected something better, it's right to say the mayor couldn't offer the kind of relationship I expected of him.
But friendship? That wasn't on my agenda. Could it be wishful thinking on his part?
~~~~~
* I also shook my head when I read the mayor say, "I started this term with a commitment to openness, transparency and integrity and I am leaving the same way." Well, perhaps that's true - he's leaving with a commitment. Not an implementation, but a commitment. Sort of like the province committing to finishing the Highway 26 re-alignment. It'll happen. Some day. Really. We're commited to it. Be patient and it will come. I may tackle other things in the article in a future post.
** Councillors Jeffrey and Edwards were ardent supporters of the mayor early in the term, both being among the Chosen on the CCRA list of recommended candidates. Edwards began to act independently in year two, although only after he had voted with the mayor to kill the Admiral Collingwood and The Strand projects. The voters, it seems, forgave him. Jeffrey went her own way late in year three, but not soon enough for voters, it seems, and she was not returned this past election.
*** The only rule for those get-togethers was we could not talk politics. We could talk about books, movies, sports, weather, family, music - anything but politics. That gave all participamts a better understanding of the person behind the political mask.
John Edwards asks Carrier about his "tumultuous" relationship with me. I wouldn't use that word, which carries a connotation of loud excitement or even violence. I would say it was more acerbic or adversarial.
In response, the mayor says, I wanted a "relationship" he couldn't offer - "almost a personal friendship."
Huh? I did a double-take over that comment.
Carrier and I have been confronting each other almost since I took office, seven years ago. I remember the night of the previous election. I was at the Huron House awaiting the results among a crowd of people. When results were announced, we learned both Carrier won his race for mayor and I had been re-elected. Two people came up to me at the bar right afterwards and asked me "Can you work with him?" Not, "Can you be friends with him?" but could I work with a guy I'd been squabbling with for the best part of the last three years. None of them would have thought I wanted to be his buddy. Why would he?
Personal friendship? Hardly. I rather like to think of myself as fairly selective about my small but close circle of friends.
The only relationship I expected of Carrier this term was to act as a good leader. Which he didn't, so in that sense he really couldn't provide the "relationship" I thought a mayor should have with his colleagues, and constituents.
True, I had expected him to provide a working milieu in which all members of council could partake and contribute. I had expected him to foster an environment of cooperation and collective effort. That didn't happen, either. But that's not a friendship. It's team building, something else that was overlooked this term.
Where would he get that bizarre notion that I wanted to be friends with him?
"This is a professional business relationship," the mayor told Edwards. Yeah, right: what's so professional and businesslike about spying on the email traffic of other members of council in your fist few weeks? That set the tone for the next four years.
Politics are networking activities, not some cut-and-dry buyer-seller business relationship. Politics are about interaction and engagement, about connections and communication, and to do that, you need to have time to interact and communicate.
We obviously have a very different notions about what politics are and how they work.
"It's not a private club. It's not fraternity," Carrier said.
Well, it WAS a private club, at least at the start, when the mayor and his supporters basically controlled everything at the table. Outsiders weren't kept informed, weren't invited to participate, weren't asked to represent the town at events or to share the limelight. And I was one of the outsiders. By the end of his term, there were several at odds with the mayor - including some his earlier ardent supporters.**
Fraternity? Well, aside from the use of the word to describe a college social club, fraternity also means, "a body of people associated for a common purpose or interest." In my humble opinion, that aspect of fraternity befits council. Perhaps the mayor was thinking of another definition, "the quality or condition of being brothers; brotherliness." Certainly for some of us, there wasn't a lot of brotherliness being spread around by the mayor.
Former Mayor Geddes understood and appreciated the value of getting council and staff together for group and social occasions. Whether it was having a drink after a council meeting, joining him on a bicycle ride along the trails, or flipping pancakes together during the Canada Day celebrations, we developed a better working relationship by doing things that weren't just business. These things humanized our relationhips with one another. Terry actively engaged in team building. Under Carrier, we simply got together once a week to fight.
Of course, the only member of the previous council who never joined us after our meetings to relax and get to know one another, was the current mayor. So he never really got to appreciate how important those informal and fun events were in team building, nor did he see how they created bonds among us that extended to the council table.***
In the week after the 2006 election, I met Carrier in his office and at the end of our discussion, I asked him if he intended to continue Terry's practice of getting council and department heads together after a meeting to socialize. He shook his head and told me (as closely as I can remember), "I see nothing wrong with the way I've behaved over the past nine years. I see no reason to change now."
Seven of the nine members of today's council were at the table last term. That term, we generally got along, and we didn't fight a lot because we spent time in social and casual events getting to know and respect one another. When we attended out-of-town conventions like AMO, we met to share information, we went to meetings together and often dined together afterwards to discuss what we had learned from workshops or seminars. We weren't a "private club" - we were a team and we accomplished a lot last term.
This term, we didn't do any of that. Instead, we fought for four years. We went to conventions and generally ignored each other. We haven't been anything close to a team in the past four years. What changed? The person at the head of the table.
Leadership isn't about friendship, but it IS about creating an environment of respect, acceptance, and cooperation. In his book, "The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership", author John Maxwell identifies Law 10 as "The Law of Connection: Leaders Touch a Heart Before They Ask For a Hand." He writes, "When it comes to working with people, the heart comes before the head... For leaders to be effective, they need to connect with people... You can't move people to action unless you first move them with emotion."
The only emotions we got this term from the head of council were disapproval, distrust and dismissal. So perhaps, since I expected something better, it's right to say the mayor couldn't offer the kind of relationship I expected of him.
But friendship? That wasn't on my agenda. Could it be wishful thinking on his part?
~~~~~
* I also shook my head when I read the mayor say, "I started this term with a commitment to openness, transparency and integrity and I am leaving the same way." Well, perhaps that's true - he's leaving with a commitment. Not an implementation, but a commitment. Sort of like the province committing to finishing the Highway 26 re-alignment. It'll happen. Some day. Really. We're commited to it. Be patient and it will come. I may tackle other things in the article in a future post.
** Councillors Jeffrey and Edwards were ardent supporters of the mayor early in the term, both being among the Chosen on the CCRA list of recommended candidates. Edwards began to act independently in year two, although only after he had voted with the mayor to kill the Admiral Collingwood and The Strand projects. The voters, it seems, forgave him. Jeffrey went her own way late in year three, but not soon enough for voters, it seems, and she was not returned this past election.
*** The only rule for those get-togethers was we could not talk politics. We could talk about books, movies, sports, weather, family, music - anything but politics. That gave all participamts a better understanding of the person behind the political mask.
